Perhaps this is the question that sits beneath almost everything.
- Leadership
- Entrepreneurship
- Personal growth
- Faith
- Relationships
Who is actually the owner of your life?
It seems like a simple question. Until you discover how often we unconsciously hand that responsibility away.
To systems. To circumstances. To our partner. To our employer. To a coach. To a book. To a religion. To our beliefs. To our fears.
Or simply to the expectation that someone else will tell us what the next step should be.
The employee who waits
Years ago, I noticed something inside organizations.
Some employees wait almost an entire year for their performance review to discover how they are doing. And when feedback finally arrives, it often feels like a surprise. Sometimes even an injustice.
- “Why am I hearing this only now?”
- “Why was this never mentioned before?”
- “How was I supposed to know?”
Understandable questions. Yet rarely does someone ask:
- Why didn’t I seek feedback earlier?
- Why didn’t I check in along the way?
- Why didn’t I take ownership of understanding where I stood?
- Why did I wait for a review to discover how I was performing?
And that is where something interesting happens. Because on paper, you may be an employee. But in reality, you are the owner of your role.
Not of the company. Not of the vision. Not of the strategy. But of your contribution within it. The moment you truly realize that, something changes.
You stop waiting. You start asking. You start exploring. You take responsibility for the quality of your contribution.
Not because someone demands it. But because it is your work. Your responsibility. Your field of influence.
A job description is dead paper
A job description is ultimately nothing more than a collection of words.
- Tasks
- Responsibilities
- Expectations
But words do not bring anything to life. People do.
- The employee who takes initiative
- The employee who thinks along
- The employee who feels responsible for the whole
- The employee who doesn’t simply execute, but takes ownership
That is where the difference emerges between meeting expectations and exceeding them. That is where purpose appears. That is where craftsmanship is born. That is where life enters the picture.
And perhaps the same is true for life itself.
Are you living your life or waiting for it?
What I see inside organizations, I see everywhere else as well.
People waiting, Waiting for a sign. Waiting for certainty. Waiting for permission. Waiting for validation. Waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the right partner. Waiting for more money. Waiting for more peace. Waiting for a better situation. Waiting for clarity about their purpose.
As if life must first provide something before they can fully show up.
And don’t get me wrong. Sometimes waiting is wise. Sometimes life asks for patience. But more often than we realize, we call something patience when it is actually postponement. We call something surrender when it is really avoidance.
We call something trust while deep down we are afraid to take responsibility for our own choices.
Because the moment you choose, there is no one left to blame.
The subtle addiction to external authority
I don’t only see this in the workplace. I see it everywhere.
- Personal development
- Entrepreneurship
- Religion
- Spirituality
People constantly search for someone who can tell them what is true. A coach. A therapist. A spiritual teacher. A book. A method. A belief system.
Not because they are weak. But because responsibility can feel uncomfortable. Because when someone else determines what is true, you no longer have to choose. You no longer have to doubt. To investigate. To fail. To discover.
You can simply follow. And following often feels safer than leading.
Jesus was not a Christian
Recently, I heard someone say:
“Jesus was not a Christian. He was a Jew.”
A historical fact. Yet it made me think.
Not about religion. Not about Christianity. But about authority. What was Jesus actually following? A system? An institution? A religion? Or a direct relationship with God?
What moves me most in the stories about Jesus is not that people followed him. It is that he seemed to live from a profound inner alignment. From a direct relationship. From an inner knowing. And that raises an interesting question:
- What happens when relationship is replaced by system?
- When the written word becomes more important than lived experience?
- When external authority becomes more important than inner connection?
Something shifts. We begin to live from what others say is true. Rather than from what we deeply know ourselves. And I believe this does not only happen in religion. It happens everywhere.
The greatest spiritual trap
Perhaps one of the biggest misunderstandings about surrender is the belief that surrender means passively accepting life. That you simply receive whatever happens. That you have no influence. That you should stop participating.
It sounds spiritual. But it can also become a disguised form of passivity. A way of avoiding responsibility.
Because while you cannot control everything…You do influence a great deal.
- How you show up
- How you respond
- The choices you make
- The conversations you have
- The questions you ask
- The energy you bring
- The meaning you give to your experiences
That is where freedom begins.
Are you giving life to life?
And perhaps that brings us back to the original question.
Who is actually the owner of your life?
Because just as a job description remains dead paper without the person who brings it to life…Life itself is merely a collection of circumstances until you enter into relationship with it.
Until you participate. Until you create something with it. Until you show up. Until you take responsibility.
Not for everything that happens to you. But for how you respond to it.
Perhaps that is what mature leadership really is. Not control. Not power. Not certainty. But ownership.
The willingness to be fully present with your life.
Not as a victim of circumstances. Not as a follower of external authority. But as someone who takes responsibility for their place within the whole.
Because in the end, perhaps only one question remains:
Not what life gives to you. But what kind of life you dare to breathe into it.
Two years of School for Authentic Wisdom
As I write this, I find myself looking at a photograph taken exactly two years ago.
June 13th, 2024.
The very first gathering of School for Authentic Wisdom. A small group of people in the woods. No big stage. No elaborate master plan. No guarantee of success. Only a shared desire to come closer to what is essential.
When I look at that photograph now, what touches me most is how little we could have known about everything that would unfold from that day.
The conversations. The encounters. The friendships. The breakthroughs. The lessons. The growth
But perhaps that is the essence of life.
Life rarely unfolds through complete certainty. You rarely see the entire path. You only see the next step. And then another. And another.
Perhaps that is what these past two years have taught me once again:
- Ownership does not mean having everything under control.
- Leadership does not mean knowing everything.
- Trust does not mean never doubting.
It means being willing to show up.
Again. And again. And again.
Even when you cannot yet see exactly where the road is leading.
Because a meaningful life is not created by waiting until everything becomes clear. It is created by breathing life into what is already asking for your participation today.
And if there is one thing I feel grateful for, it is every person who has walked part of that journey with us over the past two years. Not because we know the way. But because together we keep discovering that the way is created by walking it.
And perhaps that is what Authentic Wisdom has always been about. ❤️
